So my two sons and I, we've flown across the country from three different states, and we think, "Hey, why not try the 5-7 p.m. whale watch out of Oceanside Harbor?" It's called a "luxury" cruise, and this is puzzling, because the boat is a modest catamaran with no cabin. I have been on whale watches out of Boston (the New England Aquarium provides an Ivy League-caliber whale watch) on the East Coast, but also out of Newport Beach, Long Beach, San Pedro, the Bay Area, and Seattle on the West Coast. *Those* were luxury cruises by comparison to this one. But okay, smallish harbor, smallish boat, benefit of a doubt, no problem. On to the whale watch. We stopped by a buoy outside the harbor, and the captain spent a few entertaining minutes talking about the sea lions lounging thereon. Good start! Except that was it. Seriously. We traveled for about 1 hour and 55 minutes more, along a very interesting coastline with, for example, various points, headlands, hills, and even mountains visible. Not a word about any of this. Nothing about the nearby, world-famous Camp Pendleton. Nothing even about about Oceanside or its harbor. And when you wanted a drink or snack from the sparsely stocked galley? You had to fetch the attendant from the front of the catamaran. Every time. We watched several other people go through this same puzzling ritual on the pitching craft. It's certainly not the fault of the crew that we saw no marine mammals aside from those sea lions at the outset. But your creative substitute is rock oldies broadcast on bad speakers? You have nothing to say about the California coast? At the end, the crew gave out free tickets for a future whale watch. I feel confident they will lose very little money on this gesture.