Going to this luau was like spending $180/per person to attend a bad wedding of a distant relative. By the end, you just wish you could have those 3 hours of your life back.
We booked two weeks ago and were seated in the farthest table possible from the stage. We couldn’t really see or hear what was going on because they pack so many guests into one night that there were sixty tables and hundreds of people between us and the entertainment.
While we waited way too long for the buffet (over an hour from our seating time!), we helped ourselves to the absolute worst, most watered-down mai tais on Earth. I get that they have to make a thousand of them a night, but show a little respect to your guests. Also, thinking of getting a local beer from somewhere like Maui Brewing? Hahaha, no, Budweiser only, friends. Want a cocktail? Fine, as long as it’s two ingredients: soda and a crappy well spirit.
The main show started nearly two hours after being seated. It was an hour long and it appeared to be entertaining, but we couldn’t tell because we didn’t bring our binoculars. We left early to beat the rush and drove home feeling regretful we didn’t spend the extra $40 for the family photo souvenir. Yes, really, they wanted $40 for the theme park photo.
The price may be worth it if you’re in one of the first few rows of tables. But not our table. People walking back from the beach had a better view than we did. If we had known, we never would have gone,