I should have known better. I was having second thoughts the entire week. After all, what self respecting outfit calls themselves "Bite Me Sportfishing"? That's right, no one with half a brain. It's really stupid after all. And actually pretty lame too. But then again, so am I, because despite my doubts we showed up this morning for our half day charter.
We were greeted by, I think, a middle aged woman who was clearly jonesing for a smoke, a coffee, or maybe and actually probably, something way stronger. She barely said anything. But kept flicking her hair and saying the boat wasn't there yet but would be in shortly. Did we want drinks or did we want to buy a tee shirt. I should have known better.
Before all too long, our charter putt-putts its way to the berth and offloads a family with two young kids. I asked them how the fishing was and it was clear that it wasn't. Through pursed lips she murmured "not so good, we caught one tiny fish". I should have known better.
Nevertheless, we made our way down the gangplank to meet our captain "Andy" and first mate "Ryan". Andy was jonesing just like the woman in the office. I wondered, what the hell, do they jones together? I should have know better. In any event, Andy wasn't interested in us, it was 10am in the morning and he wanted a sandwich.
So as we made our way out of the harbor, he parked the boat at a convenience store located conveniently on the docks and had Ryan run in for a sandwich and two beers. We should have know better. No one asked if we'd like a sandwich, or a beer, or a water, or whatever it is they both were jonesing on. And there was nothing on the boat. Not-one-thing. No water. No crackers. No doughnuts. No chips. Zero. Zilch.
Eh, I figured, I'll manage our way out of this. I asked captain Andy or perhaps it was Jones, I don't remember to sit down and talk. I told him we had no interest in burning up a lot of fuel senselessly running up and down the beach between buoys trolling for big fish. I told him that instead, we wanted to catch much smaller game fish that we might then prepare for dinner that evening. Further, I told him that two to three hours was more than fine and that I didn't really care how far off shore we went. Andy nodded and said something like "I'm jonesing". I should have known better.
So predictably, captain Andy then proceeded to run up and down the coast from the harbor to the airport and back; over and over and over again. We never saw a bite. We never saw a single fish. Shoot, we never even saw a sea gull. And captain Andy just kept plowing through the ocean, a bunch of sandwich crumbs stuck in his beard.
Finally, I just yelled up to captain Andy, "enough, let's head back in". And that was our fishing adventure with Bite Me Sportfishing. In summary, I should have known better. This had all the hallmarks of a complete rip-off and disaster and that is precisely what it was.
Avoid this charter unless your idea of fun is to inhale engine fumes for half a day while captain Andy jones away.