If you don't enjoy reading long reviews, save your time, the title says it all. Otherwise, let's dig into the details... I don't usually write reviews, and this is my first one here, but I thought this experience deserved my honest feedback. I'll use the "good, bad and ugly" approach so I can be fair about the whole experience.
The Good:
- Chicago is a beautiful city, and you'll be able to take great pictures of the skyline and/or the water, especially during summer days (which was my case).
- Unlike other cruises, the boat is large and very stable, you won't even notice that it's moving.
- Access to the lunch table happens in waves (the server will let you know when you can get in line for the buffet), so the table won't be overcrowded and the lines will be pretty quick at all times.
- The lunch buffet had several options and the food was pretty good.
The Bad:
- No guides, and no information about what you're seeing outside. There's a very poor one-page PDF you can open (instructions in the menu) with a somewhat vague indication of landmarks along the boat's route, but pretty hard to follow for someone who's never been to Chicago. So while you will have a chance to see nice and interesting buildings and landmarks on the coast, you'll probably won't know for sure what they are.
- The DJ is loud. Really loud. Be prepared to have a hard time keeping a conversation when the music starts (and people start singing along), after lunch.
- Unlike the lunch, the dessert part doesn't happen in waves. It happens right before docking, so get ready to face long lines, no servers (they're busy with checks), lack of plates and (worst of all) items that ran out (and won't be replaced). My advice: get in line as soon as the desserts are ready.
- There are not many servers, so the service is slow. Refills or new drink orders take a good amount of time (like 15+ minutes). My advice: if you can, request your drinks as soon as your server introduce themselves.
- Bad luck might strike and maybe, like me, your cruise can be filled with dozens of kids. Of course they have the right to be in a cruise but, kids being kids, their idea of fun includes running and shouting and singing out loud, which might not be your ideal scenario of a lunch cruise. Unfortunately there's no way to avoid this situation, as you'll only find out what passengers are boarding during boarding time.
The Ugly:
- I did mention that the DJ is loud. But it can get even worse: since tables are preassigned by the crew, you might end up sitting under a speaker and thus finish the cruise with a huge migraine. My advice: talk to one of the crew members and see if you can be reassigned to a different table, hopefully there's still space. Alternatives include Tylenol, earplugs and spending most of the cruise on the deck.
- NEVER EVER USE THE STAIRS BETWEEN LEVELS. NEVER. EVER. Did I stress this enough? Avoid them like the plague. I misunderstood the server's instructions to the deck and used one of the stairs between levels (which was left open probably by one of the kids). But instead of being helped by one of the crew members, I was approached by a security guy (fat bald white guy wearing a red polo shirt -- beware of him) and threatened like I was some sort of criminal. Definitely made me very uncomfortable, and the lowest point of the whole experience.
Conclusion:
The too many bad/ugly things outweighs the good things in this cruise. For roughly the price of the tour you can pay for the architecture cruise, and thus see and learn about Chicago, and have a nice lunch at the pier (there are plenty of options).