I'll start by saying if you've been to Hawaii and luaus before, just save your time and money and don't book this. If you've never been to a luau and have no expectations, then you'll be fine.
We booked a last minute trip to Kauai so this was the only luau that had availability when booking our trip. I knew the reviews weren't the best but didn't expect the luau to be so bad. This was my fourth luau / trip to the islands so I've experienced quite a few.
Even when we were picking up our car from the car rental company, the lady helping us asked which luau we booked and I told them we booked Luau Kalamaku and she gave a face like 'uh oh...' and told us to go to a different one but since we didn't have a choice, we just went through with this luau (it was my dad's first time to Hawaii so I wanted him to experience a luau.... honestly should have just skipped it because it was so bad).
Okay the details and why I rated it one out of five:
- Jammed pack! They had like 1,000 people and a handful of workers, so service was next to nothing and talk about crowded!! We had a total of 10 people at our table.
- "buffet"... they serve you salad and bread to your table, just enough for the 10 people. No more salad and bread for you.
- the actual food was subpar - nothing amazing and definitely not worth the price.
- the show was decent but the stage was so far away from us and with the lights, all you saw were bugs flying around. I understand it's outside but it just wasn't the best luau show I've seen.
- the location was 'eh'. The cool thing was that they had vendors to shop from at the beginning of the luau but I'd recommend a beach-front luau if you want more of a vibe.
- the drinks.... OMG SO BAD. They're served in this tiny cup that you would use at the bathroom sink in your hotel room. I could wait in line at the bar to get a drink, and get back in line and finish my drink by the time it was my turn to get a drink again.. so tiny. They don't serve anything other than the selection of drinks they have: rum, vodka, mai tai and blue hawaiian. If you want a lava flow, nope. If you want a mule, nope. And again, they're in a cheap tiny plastic cup. I basically spent 2 hours of the luau waiting in line for drinks because you're only allowed to get one at a time. And I didn't even get a buzz going because they weren't strong at all (just tons of sugar).
If the food isn't the best, the service is next to nothing and the show was decent, at least make good drinks... this luau didn't hit any of the marks.
Lastly, I wrote that we were there for my birthday and they announce it in the beginning but that's it. No special anything and our table was just so far away because again, they just jam pack the place.
If all the other luaus are booked and this is the only one open, just skip it and go to a luau next time. It's definitely not worth it unless you have zero standards for luaus.